“Judgement exists because it helps people define who they are by judging what they are not! At its core we judge because it helps us validate our persona, to help us create the definition of ourselves… whether it’s a valid judgement or not. It’s effectively why we do it” ~ Crestina R Drew
Judgement starts with that little voice in the head making an observation about something we are experiencing. We Judge based on the things we have learnt through-out our lives, and the way we interpret those things creates our perspective and then we enforce that with judgements, with observations based on learned beliefs and patterns.
My dad once told me that the sub-conscious part of our brain is literally a recorder, it records everything we see, hear, smell, feel, taste and sense… down to the finest detail of how many leaves are on the trees we see, the shape of the leaves and every single shade of colour. And I find no evidence that this is not correct. It does this whether we register this not. At this base level of experiencing there is no judgement, no conceptualising, no analysation. Only input… However, we do a thing where we take that input and we form patterns based on recognition of similar experiences and then we develop a behaviour based on that pattern or belief.
It doesn’t matter whether that is based in fact or truth or logic. And this is where we can re-iterate that there is no right or wrong, there is no good or bad, because everyone’s experiences are different and each of us forms different patterns that make our reality true for ourselves.
What may be right and true for me, could be wrong and bad for you and vice versa there is no way that there is a measure for whats accurate with this. It's all perspective and preference, which is what ultimately develops our character, our uniqueness… its what makes you, you!
Judgement can be an innocent observation but then it can also be an extremely critical and cruel thing! People’s judgement can cause so much damage that world wars have been started and millions of people have died… on the inverse a person’s judgment can literally save lives. How we perceive a situation is usually an unconscious process, and this is usually what causes unconscious behaviours that ultimately can hurt people in horrible ways… These can become generational patterns that are passed down to our children and grandchildren if people cannot learn to control their impulses.
It's usually our parents voice that becomes the voice in our heads, usually its their judgment or guidance that echo’s as we experience the world around us. Unless we go through a stage in which we are taught and then take the time to become extremely aware and conscious of the thoughts that run through our mind, the thoughts shaping our reactions and feelings. The thoughts that direct our actions and unless we do this work, we will be forever working from a space of programmed and unintentional conditioning. Which mostly is fear based thinking.
It's when we understand the source of the perception we have, that we are then in a position where we can re-evaluate and change how we are reacting. We then are responsive and not reactive. We can change the programming in a conscious way so that the way we respond to people and the world around us comes from something that is more in alignment with who we truly are. It won’t be based on something that is not from us, from our time or relevant to current circumstances...
Don’t get me wrong this is not easy, and it takes time. You can’t just undo decades of learning and programming in a matter of months… Hell I’ve been working for 3 years and it’s still an ongoing process… In fact, I don’t believe it will ever stop, the more I uncover and re-work my beliefs and patterns the more others arise. Not as much as before but still here and there I am surprised by some obvious yet subtle belief that is no longer in alignment or relevant to my current life.
Regarding, reshaping your judgement or beliefs, I have found that the easiest most effective way is first and foremost accepting them, seeing them, and owning them. Then I welcome them, I drop down into my heart and become present with the part of me that feels or believes that judgement, emotion or belief... and I listen to it! I literally ask that part of me what it feels and then I listen. I acknowledge and validate that with a fair enough I understand why I would feel that way... and then I discuss why it’s not practical for us to be operating from a wounded or mistaken viewpoint any longer. I then literally say I love you to myself, that its okay and I am safe. I know for me, providing myself with love, acceptance and security is what I need in order to start finding the peace I need that allows me to start growing and re-developing my new mindset! I am effectively using parts therapy and self love to heal my self perceived limitations.
There are people that say that you cannot change who you are, but I disagree! We reshape and create new patterns all the time… Whether it’s starting at a gym and sticking to it for months and then years… Whether it’s creating a new association with certain circumstances. People move suburbs, towns and countries and they develop new patterns of behaviour, they learn to drive on the different sides of the road… Hell some even learn a whole new language. So learning new ways of being is not only do-able but exactly what the human being is designed to do, I mean we don’t just stop learning or developing at a certain age… we just stop realising that we are learning… it’s like we leave school and we automatically think because we aren’t going to a physical school we stop leaning then! I’ve been studying one course or another since I was 20… that was 19 years ago! And that’s only learning academically, I’ve been learning from life since birth! Growth is something that is fostered, and it in itself is a way of living, living in a growth mindset allows us to always be in an adaptable state, it allows us to be ever changing, ever evolving and unlimited in potential and possibilities.
It’s easy to become stagnant, to develop patterns that are comfortable but not necessarily good for us. We sit there looking in the mirror day after day, criticising our appearance but doing nothing proactive about it, we sit there day after day whinging about not having enough money, but will sit in front of the TV for hours when we could be doing even small things to create new sources of income… I mean they even have door dash now and that’s an easy second job! We fall into comfort zones because humans love feeling safe, they love consistency and predictability. Not realising that those comfort zones are the very things that will cause people to spend their whole life miserable and unhealthy. It’s sad really… If we really want to grow to our fullest potential we need to be in a constant space of learning and give ourselves the opportunity to evolve beyond our comfort zones.
Us humans are a complex species, capable of great things but we are also very susceptible to getting stuck in repetitive patterns, which form habits and then ultimately addictions. Addictions to anything whether positive or negative for our health in any way is detrimental to our inner balance. We never want to be reliant on anything to create a sense of comfort, safety or happiness.
As the saying goes "Stand guard at the doorway of your own mind" ~ by Jim Rohn which ultimately means that we must be ever vigilant about what we are thinking, in order to ensure that we manifest and exist at the highest frequency possible. So that the way we show up to the world around is is authentic and as our best possible versions. We should be showing compassion to the beings around us and especially to ourselves. Since we manifest what we are and if we are loving, we attract love. If we are kind, we attract kindness, if we are authentic we attract authenticity... (not that, that guarantees that its positive authenticity. That comes down to discernment on our part). Be selective about what energy you allow in your environment and energy field because you attractwhat you are.
This is starting to veer into the realm of law of attraction ad manifestation, so I think Ill save that for another post and draw the line hear. Hope this was helpful or at the least insightful to some-one x
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