So, I personally find that I go through cycles of being really detached and in observer mode quite easily, and this can last in duration of anywhere from days to weeks at a time… I then find almost without noticing or through situations that arise randomly that I am completely engulfed in the experience of what’s happening in the moment. It can take me minutes sometimes hours to recognise that I have lost the space of being the one who see’s! The awareness of all that is happening. I recently experienced a week that has been extremely intense for me, and my anxiety was at such a heightened state that for the first time ever, I could taste the cortisol running through my system… I barely slept and my appetite was practically nil! I haven’t had anxiety that bad since my teens! This time I had the added layer to this experience of being the awareness, and though I have previously been able to be the awareness, and this alone brought me out of anxiety, this time I had no option but to endure the sensations, the constant feeling of being sick to stomach… the constant clamp around my chest area, which didn’t allow me to breathe properly…
Anyway what drew me to write about this has primarily been the fact that throughout that weeks experience I kept noticing how much my consciousness was being drawn between the physical realm and the spiritual one.. I’ve been noticing that I’ll be in a state of awareness in which I am watching the emotions arise and the world pass me by... and then suddenly I am completely immersed and emotionally involved and invested into some exchange… Seemingly out of nowhere! And that’s not to say that I am always present and aware… its transient and I’ve noticed its cyclical depending on whether I am in a high vibe stage or in a lower purging phase. The ascension path is not easy as many of you can relate and would know… it’s a never-ending path of self-cleansing and learning to love yourself in all ways, shapes, and forms. A constant process of surrendering, of releasing control!
So for me I wonder if as humans we ever get used to loss, get used to losing people we love... I find the grief and process of releasing people we love is what’s hardest to detach from. It’s important to feel those emotions, to allow them the space and presence to be. To not bypass feeling them, to let them be and do whatever it takes to neutralise them. I personally don’t think we are supposed to not feel! I mean part of why we came here is to live as a human, to experience every part of the human experience. To feel it all and make choices that create more diverse experiences.
As you know there is no wrong choice, no wrong path. Consciousness just wants to see, touch, hear, taste, smell and feel everything at all levels from all angles… It wants to feel everything it can from our individual frequencies… So in saying that why would we want to be so detached that we lose that sense of experience. I believe that pain and compassion go hand in hand, you can’t know one without the other right! Like to be compassionate and empathetic to someone else is to have known how that person felt, how that person may be experiencing a particular situation.
I mean pain is universal, I once wrote about how it was the base common denominator by which all humans live and relate. It’s imperative to human development. The more pain we experience doing something one way the less likely we are to do it that way again, we do it a different way even if its minutely different. We change, we evolve! We ascend, even when we are in states of unconsciousness (before our awakening), we are slowly moving ever closer to the point where we get close enough to our consciousness (the bit that fuels our individual frequency) that we spontaneously awaken and then are aware we are on a spiritual path. On a path of enlightenment… People may say they are “enlightened”, but to truly be enlightened is to know that it is an ever-evolving process of surrender, that no human being can possibly be completely enlightened… The meaning of enlightenment is to come to an understanding, that is all and I believe that that understanding as a spiritual “concept” is that we are forever shedding more and more layers of density, more and more layers of that which we are not. From experience we are light, we are love… what we are permeates everything... and there is no wrong thing! Its all one thing! The silence is just as loud as the noise!
I think its important to know that the more we beat ourselves up for this phenomenon happening the more resistance we hold to ourselves finding acceptance and allowing things to be as they are. More resistance to a state of peace! Therefore, yes it is important to bring ourselves back to awareness when we become aware that we are not being conscious of our experience but just make it a simple shift back to the here and now.
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CD xXx
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